Despite the long recognized importance of relationships, many people do not have a good understanding of how to improve their relationship skills, avoid unnecessary conflict, strengthen connections, and repair relationships when they have been damaged. Many people also have difficulty standing up for themselves in relationships. They may have trouble communicating effectively, showing affection, keeping their boundaries appropriately strong, maintaining a sense of self, and avoiding abuse.

Over the past 15 years, careful research has been done to develop reliable understanding of how relationships work well, how they get into trouble and how to fix them when difficulties come up. Excellent work and related training for counselors has been developed by John Gottman, Harville Hendrix, Patricia Love, Howard Markman, and Michele Weiner-Davis. From this research, effective counseling for couples and individuals can often be designed to fit each situation. I have studied the work of these pioneers, attended their workshops and now draw upon their findings and teaching to customize the best approach for my clients.

When a couple comes in early enough when they are having difficulties - before hurting each other deeply - and when they each want to take part in making changes to rebuild the relationship, then there is a good chance of success.